the Seasons go 'Round & 'Round

Most parents, it seems, can't wait for their children to go to school. I have never understood that, because I was always so madly in love with mine. I never could imagine sending them off all day, five days a week; not because I thought they weren't ready or able, but because I would miss them both terribly. So I more or less home-schooled them to college.

They weren't sheltered like you might think. We lived and traveled all over the world. They were involved in sports, scouting, and church activities. We went on field trips with other home-school families. There were music lessons, concerts, camps, and even wood carving lessons from a retired Colonel down the street. We were able to visit our family and friends and take great vacations while everyone else was in school. Even though they were three years apart, my children became the best of friends. I know, because I was there.

Now they are both in college, living at home. They enjoy a lot of freedom, as they always have, though there are still a few rules too. They are both busy with their lives, but we still find the time for an occasional game or dinner out. Next year it could all be very different. As we await orders for our next duty station, one is making plans to stay here where he works and trains, and the other is planning to transfer to a 4 year school in another state. It's exciting for all of us. A new chapter with endless possibilities. But I will miss the laughter and smiles we share each day. I will miss the warmth and kindness. I will miss the daily sharing of our lives.

Happily, I will have the memories: My little girl with the shirt she decorated in puffy paints when she was 4 that read "I am a bed hog." My little boy screaming for joy on Christmas morning, "IT'S THE MEGAZORD!" as he opened the coveted Power Ranger toy. We roller-bladed and rode our bikes, played hide and seek (we still do!) and went to midnight Harry Potter movies. So many memories that make me smile. So many shared tears, hugs, and laughter.

I know that things will change. They have to. But I also realize that some things won't. I know that somehow, via telephone, internet, and perhaps one day, even teleportation, we will manage to keep sharing our lives and our love. And there is a certain satisfaction in knowing that I did what I was put here to do and now I can retire....and wait for grandchildren.

the Blues

Most of us can get a little down in the winter months. In fact, just the thought of a long, wet Washington winter can be depressing! This year I've decided to call in a pre-emptive strike on the winter blues, or SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is said this affects between 1-10% of the population in the U.S., depending on location.

In my research, I came across two therapies that I feel directly address the cause of SAD: lack of sunlight. The first, obviously, is light therapy. You simply sit near a special light box, for a specified time each day, depending on the lux of the light box, usually 2500 to 10,000 lux. The stronger the lux, the less time you need near the light box. Everyone is different, so there may be a bit of a learning curve to figure out how much time you need. Too much can overstimulate, resulting in jitters, insomnia, and generally feeling like you took too many No-Doz. We know that real sunlight regulates our hormones, sleep patterns, and helps us make vitamin D3. It is thought that the simulated sunlight stimulates chemicals made by our brain that affect our mood.

The second therapy is vitamin D3 supplementation. Unlike real sunlight, a light box cannot trick your body into manufacturing this vitamin/hormone. Even when you eat foods that contain some type of Vitamin D, your body has to convert it through the liver & kidneys into Vitamin D3. Many foods are fortified with Vitamin D, and yet many people are still deficient, especially the elderly. As we age, we actually need more time in the sunlight in order to make D3 than we did when we were younger. Add to that the liberal use of sunscreen, and it's no wonder we are lacking. Foods that are high in Vitamin D include all types of seafood, mushrooms, and fortified products such as milk, orange juice, cereals, and soy products. Since the body still has to convert this to D3, it may make sense to supplement with D3, especially if you are older. A vitamin/mineral supplement that includes calcium is a good choice; just make sure it uses Cholecalciferol, which is D3. A tablespoon of cod liver oil before bedtime is another good addition. The RDA for Vitamin D is 200 IU, 400 for infants. Many people successfully supplement with 2,000 or more IUs daily. However, as Vitamin D is fat soluble, it can build up in your system over time to toxic levels, so it's best to get your levels checked periodically. Vitamin D helps to regulate our metabolism & blood pressure, fortifies our immune system, and has a synergistic relationship with calcium, phosphorus, and Vitamin A. It has been shown to be effective against colon cancer and is instrumental in maintaining a healthy brain as well as bones.

There are many other alternative solutions to the winter blues, including chiropractic & acupuncture, herbs like St. John's Wort & Lemon Balm, supplements like B Complex Vitamins, SamE, Omega 3 fatty acids, & Melatonin, and regular exercise. But address the cause first. I think the combination of light therapy and Vitamin D3 supplementation will be a great place to start! Whatever you choose to try, remember that most therapies have the risk of at least mild side effects, so be sure to research and talk with your natural health care provider.

Are you living well?

peace,
Laura

Big Truths

Ten years ago, my life had taken a bad turn. It was really like a "break the sound barrier" downward spiral into a black hole. I'd lost my job, nearly lost my husband, and completely lost myself and everything I believed in. It totally sucked. This past month, as I celebrated my 44th year on this planet, I pondered what I had learned through that process. I thought this would be a good time to share what I call my "Big Truths," or "What I learned when my life went to hell in a bucket."

1) Don’t worry if you haven’t learned the lesson from any given situation, because you will have another opportunity to learn it. That’s the way it works~ the universe will be more than generous in providing you new opportunities to learn to be giving, caring, selfless, compromising, and forgiving. Rewind, push play.

2) The grass ain’t greener. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you~ that means you bring the same issues and unresolved crap with you into every new relationship & situation, which brings me to the next truth…

3) If there’s a problem, it’s probably you. It’s easier to blame others than to look at yourself objectively. But taking responsibility for a situation is halfway home to resolving it. Walking away rarely means resolution. There is a difference between being in control and being controlling. See #1.

4) Whatever you want, you’ve got to bring it. If you want champagne at the party, then you’d better stop and pick some up instead of hoping someone else will provide it. This means, for example, if you want loving, warm, honest relationships, then you’d better show up with the love, warmth, and honesty in your own heart before worrying about what the other person brought. See #3.

5) Forgiveness is something you do for you. (Not forgiving means you choose to hold onto the crap and take it all personally. Guess what? What other people do is not about you. It’s about them. If someone has hurt you, it wasn’t on purpose, it was because they were trying to get their needs met~ needs that you weren’t meeting. See #3.

6) If you can imagine it, you can create it. Everything good in your life started first in your dreams and imagination. Think big. Imagine the possibilities. You are everything you need.

As always, I wish you peace.

Expectancy

During my monthly "tune up" with my wonderful B.E.S.T. Practitioner, the feeling of "expectancy" came up. It got me thinking.

First, I consulted the dictionary. We may feel expectancy when looking forward to any positive event, such as the birth of a child. It encompasses a feeling of hope and anticipation. There is also a feeling of certainty or probability. I remember how it felt waiting for that first snow fall of the season as a child with a sled, the night before leaving for summer camp, or for my Grandmother's plane to arrive at the airport. Yes, I remember the feeling of "expectancy."

Armed with this new-found understanding, I asked myself, "What do I expect and how do I feel about that?" Because it's how we actually feel about our thoughts that really matters. If we want perfect health, happiness, and success, we have to think about what we are thinking and how it feels to think those thoughts. Confused? Let me give you an example...

If I wake up in the morning, expecting to have a wonderful day, I will feel positive and my muscles will be relaxed, and I will likely have a wonderful day. If I wake up expecting to have an awful day, my muscles will be tight because of these gloomy thoughts, and guess what? That's right, I will likely have an awful day. By the end it, I may even have a migraine and will likely feel emotionally and physically exhausted. Which would you choose?

If we are constantly expecting the worst, we are living in fear. And because "what you think about, you bring about," you will likely experience the outcome you are "expecting." Are you living in "worse case scenario" mode or "best case scenario" mode?

Let's make a choice to plan out our day the night before. Lying in bed before falling asleep, let's run through the perfect day we are going to have tomorrow. Let's be aware of how it feels. Let's envision it. Let's "expect" it.

We really can change our lives~ one thought at a time!

It's Difficult Until It's Not

Lately there has been a resounding theme in the lives around me, as well as in my own. It's "resistance." When we "resist," we exert force in opposition to something else. It can be positive, such as when we resist the temptation to eat a pound of chocolate. But it can also be negative, such as when we refuse to accept a situation in our lives for what it is. We live in fear and denial, hoping it will change if we exert enough force against it. But what we are often resisting is another's vision of what they want to create in their lives.

Let me give you a personal example. Today is my son's biological father's birthday. In the 20 years my son has been alive on this planet, he has only ever had contact with his paternal Grandfather, and even that was many years ago. And yet I have this vision of acceptance and understanding between our families~ wishing and hoping that somehow there will be forgiveness, that his father will regret the spaces between and move to close the chasm. Clearly I am living in la la land.

When we resist something for a long time, we are not accepting the reality. We are not moving on. We are stagnant. We are stuck in our own muck. Remember the Serenity prayer about accepting those things which you cannot change? When we resist rather than accept, we are not honoring what is. We are not trusting the path. And we are exerting an enormous amount of energy into something that we cannot affect. I cannot make others conform to my vision. I cannot make a man see that he is missing out by not having a relationship with his wonderful son. What I can do is create the best relationships possible with those who choose to be in our family. I can take all of that energy I've been using to resist, and use it to create, love, nurture, and enjoy those who are right in front of me. And I can forgive: him, the situation, myself, the resistance, the negative emotions~ everything.

Once I was at a seminar where we gathered up rocks to represent different things in our lives we wanted to let go of. Each of us was led, blindfolded, by a partner, up a rocky hilltop in the desert. As we walked we would take a moment to drop a rock, saying what it was we were leaving there, and what we were replacing it with. For example, we could drop a rock and say, "I leave behind anger, and replace it with love." As I neared the top of the hill, I realized I was still holding one rock. I knew I had to let it go. I wanted to let it go. I stood there with my palm open, and all I had to do was tilt my hand and let it go. I had carried it for so long. Who would I be without it? Finally, after what seemed like a hundred hours, I allowed it to drop to the ground. I cried.

Afterward, I marveled at how difficult it had been to let that rock drop; how I had deluded myself into even recognizing that I was still carrying it! (remember Bilbo when he keeps the ring in his pocket and he's supposed to leave it for Frodo and Gandalf calls him out on it?) How many rocks are we carrying around every day of our lives, completely unaware?

Everything leading up to that moment of letting go is hard. But then you let go. You stop resisting and you start living. You stop waiting for other people to live up to your expectations, and accept them for who they are, warts and all, even if it means that they are never going to be a part of your life again or at least never the person you wanted them to be. That knot in your stomach dissipates. The sun comes out from behind the clouds. Basically, the lens you were using to look at your life is brought into focus. And you realize that it's only difficult until it's not.

This Old House

This weekend I had the pleasure of visiting my great-grandparents old home. Built around 1909, this craftsman-style house had suffered through two other owners before landing in the lap of the wonderful couple who is lovingly restoring it.

They found me on a genealogy site, and were interested to know more about the family who had lived in the house; my family. Now, even my own relatives' eyes glaze over when I start talking about my family history. Just because you are related is no guarantee that they will shout for joy over your newly found 1850 census record for your shared great-great grandmother. Imagine my excitement to find someone who wants to know every bit of minutia surrounding these particular relatives!

As I toured the house, I could feel the energy of my relatives, which included several great aunts and uncles whom I'd known when I was a child, two of whom had lived long enough to meet my own kids. Seven children had lived there, four of them born there. One small boy had drowned on the property. Their young mother had died there. Mostly, I could feel the love they had shared. And so I was even more pleased to find that the new owners had turned half of "the back 40" into a community garden for the neighbors whose homes backed onto it.

Perhaps because my own childhood homes have long been sold, and as an Army wife, I have no permanent home, this old family home takes on special meaning for me. I am truly grateful that this wonderful couple has allowed me such a precious gift!

AZ Immigrant Trash

http://www.snopes.com/photos/politics/restarea.asp

I thought you might be interested in seeing actual photos of what illegal immigrants leave behind when they near their destination. You can see more pictures and read a short article at the above site. While Steve and I were camping in Organ Pipe National Monument in 2000, immigration officers were patrolling the area while we tried to sleep. We only stayed one night.